


The Trouble with 008

by Sebright_Silver



Category: James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Humor, Original Character(s), at least I think it's funny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-30
Updated: 2013-06-30
Packaged: 2017-12-16 16:31:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/864165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sebright_Silver/pseuds/Sebright_Silver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After an agent resigns, M is faced with choosing the next 00 agent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> My knowledge of British slang comes from TV and movies so my apologies if any of it is incorrect. Also the information on the British military comes from Wikipedia so it may not be entirely accurate. Other than M, Q, Moneypenny, and James Bond all of the characters come from my own warped imagination, so the names, genders, etc. don't match the books and movies.

Gareth Mallory had been M for a little over 6 months when it happened. He was going to lose one of his agents. Not lose him the sense of being killed or permanently disabled in the line of duty.  Lose him in the sense that Christopher March aka 008 was planning to resign from MI6.

March had faithfully served his country for nearly 20 years, first in the RAF and later at MI6. In addition to being an excellent pilot, March was fluent in 4 languages, held a black belt in judo, and was a skilled sniper. More importantly he had never been prone the behavioral “quirks” that seemed to plague the other double 0’s.  He rarely deviated from orders, he almost always returned his equipment to Q branch in one piece, and he had never once in M’s memory blown anything up without being expressly told to do so. In short he was the most boring of all the double 0’s. M found him restful.

M looked across his desk at the man in question. “Well 008 all of your paperwork seems to be in order. I must say you will be missed.”

“Thank you sir. It’s been an honor to serve with you.”

M rose and went to his drinks cabinet. It was only early afternoon, but he felt the need for some liquid fortification. “Would you like a drink March?”

“Yes sir that would be lovely.” M poured them both a generous amount.

“What are your plans for the future then?”

“Oh I’ll probably find a nice little spot in the South Pacific to disappear to sir.”

This was a lie. M knew the real reason behind 008’s resignation was that the man was in love. In a fit of boredom (insanity), March had apparently set up a profile for himself on an internet dating site using one of his aliases. The website had matched him up with a woman whose profile listed her profession as a schoolteacher, but who was in reality an undercover operative for Mossad. Now after a few clandestine meetings between missions the two spies were ready to set up housekeeping together.

Ms. Moneypenny had been delighted by this news. “It goes to show that there’s someone out there for everyone.” she had cooed. M really wondered about his assistant’s sanity at times.

M knew that as they spoke, March’s beloved was having a similar conversation with her bosses in Israel. The two of them had already set up a safe house under fake identities in Dover, Delaware of all places. As he rather liked March, M had had a discrete word with his counterpart at the CIA to ensure that the lovebirds would be safe and undisturbed in their new home.

All of this was well and good, but it still left M with a hole on his staff. Now for the first time in his tenure he was faced with having to choose a new double 0.


	2. Chapter 1 - The Candidates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> M reviews potential candidates for the job of 008.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know that "THE LIST" is a stupid thing to call it, but I couldn't come up with anything else.   
> Just a warning there are some swear words in this chapter.

An unfortunate reality of life at MI6 was that double 0 agents were usually lost in the field. Which meant that M’s predecessors had often found themselves selecting replacement agents on short notice. This led the late Admiral Hargreaves, who had served as M in the early 1980’s, to establish what the MI6 department heads referred to as simply “ **THE** **LIST** ”.

“ **THE** **LIST** ” was in actuality a collection of personnel files of current MI6 field agents who the various departments felt might potentially make good double 0 operatives. It was constantly being updated, completely unofficial, and it was available to M at a moment’s notice. Not everyone was a good candidate for the double 0 program. It took a certain mind set to be able to use any means necessary to protect queen and country after all. Or as the current quartermaster so colorfully put it, “You have to be dangerous, cunning, brave and above all else utterly and completely fucked in the head”. Of course M was not obligated to choose the next 008 from “ **THE LIST** ” however it was a good a place as any to start. There were currently four candidates available for review.

Ashley Weldon-Price was 40 years old. He came from a very old, very well connected family. (It was rumored that his grandmother had formerly been a mistress of the Duke of Windsor.) Weldon-Price unlike most of the current operatives had never served in the military. Instead he had joined MI6 right out of university, at first as a translator and cryptographer, later completing the training necessary to be a field agent.  In addition to being skilled with languages and code breaking, Weldon-Price excelled in hand to hand combat and had a talent for picking locks. He was also as Ms. Moneypenny so helpfully pointed out “bloody gorgeous and completely shaggable”. Which M reflected would be an asset in a job where the agents seduced the targets as often as they killed them.

Margaret Singh was 38 years old. Her mother was a former British diplomat who had married a local man she met while on assignment in India. Ms. Singh had grown up at various consulates in countries all across the globe leading her to be very well versed in other cultures and international politics. Singh had a PhD in mechanical engineering, and despite being only 5feet tall she had served in the Royal Army with distinction. Like Weldon-Price she was multilingual, able to hold at least basic conversations in no less than 12 languages.  She was also something of a car fanatic. She had been at the top of her class in combat driving techniques. It was rumored that her driving made even 007 nervous. Although considering M had personally witnessed Bond driving in reverse at 70 mph, steering with his knee and simultaneously firing a gun, M was inclined to doubt the veracity of that particular rumor.

Carl Davis was 34 years old. He had currently been with MI6 for only 3 years, and prior to that he had served with the Royal Army Ordinance Corps. Davis was not as well educated as Weldon-Price or Singh, coming from decidedly working class background. He was however an expert marksman and had a steady hand with explosives. He was also as the head armorer pointed out the “most ordinary looking person on the face of the Earth”. Indeed the man was average height, average build with brown hair and brown eyes. His unremarkable appearance coupled with a tendency to be on the quiet side leant him a certain natural stealth which was a definite asset in a covert operative. M had once overheard some of the members of Q branch muttering about implanting him with a tracking device after Davis had accidently startled them during a particularly delicate point in a weapons test, a sort of high tech version of belling the cat. However they had calmed down after it became apparent that R’s eyebrows would eventually grow back so for the moment Davis remained free of trackers.

Bonnie Beldon was 36 years old. She had served in the Royal Navy as nurse and had later joined the medical division at MI6. To be completely honest M was somewhat uncomfortable with her inclusion on “ **THE LIST** ”. The idea of using a former nurse as an assassin just rubbed him the wrong way even if she was a fully qualified field agent.  As with many things that made M uncomfortable it was all 007’s fault. 

The incident that turned Bonnie Beldon, nurse, into Bonnie Beldon, MI6 field agent, occurred approximately 1 year after the previous M had promoted Bond to double 0 status. Bond been injured on an assignment, stabbed rather than shot for a change. The man had been confined to medical protesting vociferously that he was “fine damn it” never mind being nearly disemboweled. He had made several attempts to leave (escape) until the previous M had had to resort to threatening to pull his license to kill to get him to stay put. Stay put he did with very bad grace making all of the doctors and nurses completely miserable.

As it happened Ms. Beldon had spent some of her time as a student nurse in a pediatric hospital. While in the Navy she had found this educational experience to be particularly useful, as dealing with ill and injured sailors had turned out to be surprisingly similar to dealing with ill and injured children, except of course that the children didn’t complain nearly as much. She decided to try to apply this same knowledge to Commander Bond.  The key was to provide the patient a distraction. Now while Beldon was very attractive with what M privately felt were a truly outstanding pair of legs, she did not make the same mistake as many women before her and attempt to use sex as a distraction with Bond (much to his disappointment).

Instead she had presented herself as a sort of adversary. She had called him a disgrace to the Navy and MI6, telling him any idiot could do his job. Bond rather predictably rose the bait. He challenged her to try doing the things he did day in and day out to see how well she could manage. Beldon immediately took him up on the challenge. They started with a trip to the firing range once Bond’s doctors had allowed him out of bed for a few hours. Bonnie Beldon much to Bond’s surprise had turned out to be a crack shot. This had piqued 007’s curiosity leading him to have her try other activities necessary for being an MI6 agent such as martial arts classes, weapons training, even piloting lessons. Beldon was a natural. By the time Bond had completed physical therapy and the necessary recertification testing to return to active status, Bonnie Beldon was well on her way to becoming an MI6 field agent. 

 

 


End file.
